It was a typical evening after work, Lucy was living up to the classic vizlsa nickname, “Velcro Dog”, following me around like she was Velcroed to my hip. Toddlers tend to be the same way so Finley wasn’t far behind. I noticed that Lucy was “smiling”, acting weird, and taking deeps breaths through her nose, the sure tell sign a dog is about to puke. So, I did what is the best solution for this to ensure I don’t have to clean puke off the floor, and guided her into the shower (she goes in like she knows is the place to puke). As she was in there, I must have been staring intently at her and while I was staring at her, Finley must have been staring at me, observing my every move. And, I must have been making a funny face of concern because next thing I knew, Finley was looking at me with this funny lip face saying (also in a funny, low/scruffy/worried voice), “Lucy sick”.
Seriously, this child kills me!
Now, when I make that face at her, she giggles and does it back and immediately says “Ohhh, Lucy sick”, in that same funny voice.
In “Cheers-ing” news, she most recently ran to her playroom, grabbed her wooden camera, and came running over to me, while I was shooting some products for work, to cheers cameras! There also has been cheersing of eyes, toothbrushes, and tummies. What will she cheers next!?
Happy Friday, friends!
There are lots and lots of wonderful things about Finley, but one of them is that she plays really well by herself. She has such an imagination already and quietly goes from one thing to another, spending short amounts of time on each thing, like a typical toddler. The other night, while she played for awhile before bedtime, I glanced over at her to see what she was up to. She was placing her baby (My Baby Shivers from when I was little; I remember getting her like it was yesterday.. oh, the excitement!) on top of a Rubbermaid container, then proceeded to tell her “time out!” and walked away, leaving Baby Shivers behind. I about died. She gave her baby a time out!
Sometimes, I think it’s easy to forget just how smart out little toddlers are. They are watching and observing everything we do as adults. (So, yesterday when I hopped in the car to go to work, realizing I was on empty, maybe “shit!” wasn’t my best choice of words?)
As if I couldn’t love her more than I already do, last night as I talked to her at the end of one of her own time outs, she poked me in the cheek and exclaimed “cheek!” and then poked her own cheek and said it again, then said “Cheers!” as she pushed her cheek against mine. Cheers-ing isn’t only for cocktail glasses, in her little mind. I think I like this girl’s imagination…
“There are no grown-ups. We suspect this when we are younger, but can confirm it only once we are the ones writing books and attending parent-teacher conferences. Everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently.”
Occasionally I am taken aback when I think deeply about the fact that I have a child. I have a real-live-human-child-baby who is mine, who depends on me, who I keep alive. I don’t feel old enough to have that responsibility, yet I have it and I do a pretty darn good job if it, I think. I read this blog post a woman wrote about what you “learn in your 40s” and although I have a number of years before I live through my 40s, that quote resonated with me.
All these “adult” responsibilities I have, I do, but half the time I have no idea how. I’m just winging it day in and day out. I think we all are, aren’t we? Who really knows what the hell they are doing when they have their first baby (or their second or their third!)? When I was pregnant with Finley, I would have mini panic attacks wondering how I would know how much to feed her when she was a newborn but then she came and I did it, and she grew like tiny babies do. When she was six months old, I didn’t know if I should give her baby food or how much or even what kind, but the time came and I did it again. And shoes. Does a baby under 12 months really need shoes!? My head always told me I “should” put shoes on her, but the mommy in me said “eff that, she doesn’t need shoes!” So, despite the grief from others, I never put shoes on her (rarely socks, even!). And guess what, she can run with those tiny little feet just like all the other kids her age! Small uncertainties happen at every stage of their lives, of our lives, and each time, as parents, we figure it out — albeit, winging it.
I suspect that when she’s in kindergarten, a sophomore in high school, or a mommy bringing home her newborn baby, I will still have those moments when I am taken aback by the fact that I am a grown-up… but I will hold my head high and confidently do what I need to do as a mom, all the while, feeling like I have no idea what I’m doing at all.